Sasuke's MidLife Crisis
by mishmish48
Summary: Sasuke has a perfect, happy family. And he is not going to let a freakish blonde ruin it. oneshot. SasuSaku R&R!


Sasuke's Mid-Life Crisis

Sasuke flipped through the photo album, adoring the little kawaii faces that were smiling brightly through the photo paper. Ahhh, such a beautiful sight, pink and blue-haired miniatures of him playing joyously in the morning sun with his beautiful wife. No picture could be better. But still.

A hint of blonde-hair disrupted the perfect flash of a moment. AND…

Where the hell was he? Oh yeah, ANBU patrol. Sasuke furiously continued to flip through the photo album wishing just to not see the color yellow.

Blonde, blonde, blonde, BLONDE. Every damned picture had the blonde's face and sheepish grin.

"All of these pictures lack the color blue." Sasuke announced to mid-air.

Coincidentally, his pink-haired wife passed through the open door the Uchiha was leaning on.

"Eh?" Sakura peered closely at the pictures while holding the family's laundry.

"What are you talking about? These pictures have enough color blue! Plus, you could add Naruto's blue eyes too."

Crack.

"Eh?" Sakura sweat-dropped as the door knob "accidentally" crashed to the ground.

"I meant NAVY Uchiha blue."

Sakura's eyes lazily traveled at her husband's glaring eyes as she felt the tinge of jealousy. But the hell, she was so totally going to have fun with the Uchiha's current mood swing.

A smirk-slash-grin crept across her face.

"What do you mean? Pshh. Sakime's hair is navy blue and he's almost in every picture!"

Vein pop.

"Ne, Sakura. Where was I in this picture?" Sasuke allegedly pointed at a picture taken at their tomato garden. Everyone in the picture was having fun while the BLONDE Naruto slipped on the hose crushing the poor tomatoes while the whole Uchiha family was laughing at his clumsy deed.

"Oh, S-rank mission."

"Who took the picture?"

"Ahhh. Kakashi-sensei did! He always has his Cannon camera with him, he loves that thing and apparently, we are his favorite models!" Sakura answered with a pipe of joy in every tone.

"And why is that dobe there."

"Ehhh?" Sakura finally felt the green aura around the Uchiha. "What do you mean? Naruto is ALWAYS with us, and the kids just love him!" Yeap, you have got to emphasize at the always.

Sasuke's ears twitched as a death glare was given to every picture in the photo album. Precisely, at a certain blonde.

"How about this picture?" Sasuke pointed at another picture.

"Chaperoning the Fifth."

"This?"

"Documenting the upcoming Chuunin Exams."

"This?"

"Stuck on traffic."

"This?"

"ANBU patrol."

"This?"

"A-ranked mission"

"This?"

"ANBU patrol."

"THIS?"

"ANBU patrol."

"THIS!?"

"ANBU.PATROL."

"Where is the freakish blonde?" Simple, yet anything but subtle. The command was blunt, almost icy and cold, only one person could melt it. But that person decided not to. Instead, she kept the fire burning with a grim smirk.

"Oh out there in the yard with the kids. He's teaching them basketball."

"And why aren't I there!?" Sasuke gritted his teeth as he spoke and marched off to the hallway leading out to their yard.

"You were moping with the photo album!" Sakura said aloud, just to make sure the Uchiha heard her. She smirked in triumph at the thought.

'_Jeez. Men and their mid-life crisis.'_

"Oi. Naruto!"

"Huh?" The blonde's gaze shifted from the colors pink and blue to a scenario with dark navy blue and evil green colors surrounding the fuming adult.

"Nani? Oi. Sasuke-teme, what the hell do you want?"

Sasuke said nothing, but he did grab the orange-garmented adult and dragged him to their gate and threw him out the streets shouting:

"YOU PEDOPHILE AND WIFE STEALER! STAY AWAY FROM MY HAPPY, PERFECT FAMILY. THEY ARE MIIIINE." Okay, he has totally lost it.

"What.The.Hell.? Has the Uchiha finally lost it?" Naruto mumbled to himself, eyes slanted in confusion.

"Here." Sasuke threw out fake pennies to the poor misunderstood blonde. "Go eat all the ramen you want! JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE FAMILY I HAVE JOYFULLY MADE."

"Kami-sama. He's getting perverted."

"I'LL MAKE MORE IF YOU WANT! JUST STOP IT. YOU… YOU FAMILY STEALER!"

Eyes still slanted with confusion, Naruto just did the wise move and walked away.

"I was just here for my weekly-visit. Kami, that guy's getting overprotective."

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU WALK AWAY! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Sasuke screamed and then mumbled "Blondes."

Sasuke closed their gate and twirled to see his children and hugged them, tight. In his mini theater mind play, instrumental music played and magically they were hugging at an open field of cherry blossoms. (AN: So sorry, but I just HAD to add that.)

"Ne, otou-san, what's wrong?" His eldest son Sakime asked.

"I think he has too much ANBU fumes in his head." The younger female sibling, Sachiko, whispered to her onee-chan.

"Sachiko, Sakime, why don't we go out for ice cream?"

At the word 'ice cream' their eyes glistened with joy.

"Really!? Let's go!"

"Oi! Sakura! Come on! We're going out for some ice cream!" Sasuke screamed as he and his children marched happily hand-in-hand to the ice cream shop.

Meanwhile, Sakura leaned on the hallway as she thought naughtily.

"Really now Uchiha, your eyesight's getting bad. You were always in the pictures. Naruto was just always there to block your face!"

And seriously, if you peer in closer to the pictures, the blonde abnormally has some dark blue spikes coming out if his bleach blonde hair.

Sakura caught up with them as she held on to Sakime's hands.

"Sasuke." Sakura called up as she hit him in his head.

"Nani Sakura? Ittai! You have got to remember your super-human strength!"

Sakura knew, through the tone of his voice and choice of words, Sasuke was having his happy times right now. But she shrugged it off as she announced to her husband.

"Sasuke-kun, you're getting senile."

Owari.

AN: Well? How was it? Please do tell me the fields I need to improve on! It will help me a lot! Also, please review. Hope you guys like it! :D


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